Ask Jimmie St. Vrain

Dear Jimmie – I read back in April that the City Council approved a resolution stating Longmont planned on having zero traffic fatalities on its city streets by 2040. That’s the goal of the city’s “Vision Zero” program. What do you think? Is this realistic or just pie in the sky?

I brake for squirrels

Dear IBFS – I support any realistic attempt to reduce fatalities on our streets. When I saw the program’s name, I assumed  “Vision Zero” referred to a new plan by Boulder County to offer free prairie dogs as adoptable pets or the City of Denver approving the recreational sale of LSD. The Vision Zero Network, which started in Sweden (not too many street racers run Saabs or Volvos), identifies its top three priorities as “managing speed,” “centering equity,” and “engaging communities.”I think this program needs a little more meat on its bones detailing steps to reduce fatalities, like requiring owners to buy small rubber bumper cars, electric, of course, or require pedestrians to don padded Sumo wrestler suits before crossing streets. I’d like to see the “Vision Zero” goal applied to more urgent and doable local issues such as:

Zero RTD Train Tax: Call me impatient, but I can’t wait until 2050 to see our NW FasTracks train come to fruition. Chances are I’ll be riding the “Soul Train.” The bait and switch is well documented. Boulder County has paid $270 million since 2005, with local taxpayers still on the hook for the Ghost Train. Time to push to rescind the tax after divorcing from RTD and sue to get a portion of our money back.

Zero Boulder County Plea Bargains: Crime seems to pay lately with the “slap on the wrist” sentences being handed down. It used to be: “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.” Now it’s do the crime without hesitation, you’ll get probation.” It’s time for the DA and soft-on crime Representatives to return from their extended vacations and reinstitute mandatory sentences, or maybe it’s time for them to enjoy extended vacations after the next election.

Zero State Property Tax Scheme Depleting TABOR: Mark Twain wrote: “The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.” The “Big Government” Representatives and Governor in the State House have proposed solving property tax pain by looting the TABOR Amendment to redistribute your refund. Thankfully the latest scheme will be on the ballot in November, so keep your hide intact and vote against SB (Senate Bill) 303.

Zero PO Box Ban for City Political Contributions: Talk about picking the fly poo out of the pepper. The City Council voted 4-3 to ban PO Boxes as an allowable address for campaign contributors. Doesn’t this disenfranchise the homeless (unhoused) or people living in their RVs? How about those in the Witness Protection Program reluctant to give Tommy Devito their location? I doubt that George Soros or China contributes to local candidates, so what’s the big deal with the PO Boxes? It’s not as big a deal as a council member using a private server for city business email or lost public communications on a drive. I would venture to guess that those who voted to ban PO Boxes instead of an allowable address for campaign contributors would be the first to howl about requiring a valid photo ID for elections.

Jimmie St. Vrain claims to be Johnnie St. Vrain’s wiseguy brother and Kris Harris moved here in 1960 and is a product of Longmont Public Schools and the University of Northern Colorado. He believes sarcasm deserves to be taken seriously.