“When written in Chinese, the word ‘crisis’ is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.”
John F. Kennedy
Hard to ignore any of the recent articles being published regarding the pox that is fracking. It’s “purported” negative assault on air, land and water has convinced me that this process has to be the most damaging and invasive environmental ‘crisis’ we as the race called “human” have ever faced. Yes, even worse than the global catastrophic famines predicted in the 1970’s, Y2K in 2000, and the current global climate “not cooperating with scientist’s computer models” crisis. As a public service, I’d like to show how the following maladies are also as a direct result of hydraulic fracking:
Halitosis (Bad Breath) – No secret that your toothbrush (made of plastic) is a petroleum by-product as are many popular toothpastes and mouthwashes. Petroleum is used in the blue color dyes to give the appearance of being ‘minty fresh’ as advertised and in certain sweeteners to enhance the taste. If you are a true anti-fracking disciple, you’ll forgo these evil conveniences derived from fracking and migrate to other types of oral hygiene tools similar to what folks in other parts of the world use, such as twigs or fingers for a toothbrush and brick, charcoal, mud, salt or ash as a toothpaste substitute. Remember brush twice daily…
Petro Phobia Distemper – Symptoms include foaming at the mouth, compulsion to make protest signs and spew venomous invective and spittle in public spaces and meetings. Can be cured after the victim does a petroleum cleanse and eschews all transportation, heating-cooling, power, electrical devices, clothes and other products connected to the petroleum industry, then discovers “hemp” underwear is uncomfortable and itchy, leading them back to a more balanced view of fracking.
Frackenstein Phobia – A fairly recent phobia, its sufferers have developed an intense fear of burly oil field workers toiling at their well sites all day and night then going into town to relax with a beer or two. But it never is just a few beers, is it? They over-imbibe and decide to go on a monstrous destructive rampage, targeting any vehicle that is deemed environmentally friendly or anti-fracking…think Honda, Subaru, Volvo, Prius or (gasp) any electric vehicle. Folks stricken with this phobia have purchased Ford, Dodge or Chevy pickups with gun racks and bumper stickers that say “American Oil from American Soil” to drive for a night out on the town.
ED – You’ve seen the TV commercials, usually during sporting events, particularly golf. An attentive man is focused not on his remote, but on a woman, he displays a gaze similar to a lion tracking a wildebeest on the Serengeti. They whisper something (I’m guessing) besides, “hey, let’s balance our check book” and then we’re back at the golf tournament, usually a shot of the “Snoopy Blimp” flying over the course. This malady, usually affecting men, has grown since they’ve started to worry that environmentalists might have fracking banned, thus causing a gasoline shortage, which will mean longer lines to put gas in their sports cars, which will cause them to be late for the “when the time is right” moment at home. Well gotta go. My wife just appeared in the doorway of my office, what perfect timing….I just finished this article….Grrrrrrr.