On the Watergate Scandal: “There can be no whitewash at the White House.”

Richard Nixon

The Times-Call reported according to Councilman Brian Bagley, an investigation into alleged harassment of Councilwomen by Councilmen is “absolutely” related to a heated exchange in an open council meeting on June 27. The City has hired a Denver-based law firm to conduct an inquiry into the allegations. Other City officials wouldn’t comment due to confidentiality of the investigation.

I got the call at 9:30pm a couple nights ago. The caller knew I wrote occasionally and said he had secret information on the current City Council scandal he wanted me to share. Said we needed to meet the next night at 10:00pm at the Boulder County Fairgrounds barns, then he ended the call. The next night I parked my car and walked towards the barns. After a few more steps I heard, “look over here.” I saw the glow of a cigarette in the corner of the barn. I moved over to the figure and said, “why all the precautions and what should I call you?” “Big trouble if I’m caught sharing this information, and you can call me “Large Larynx,” he said. “Large Larynx?” I said. “Yeah, kind of a takeoff from Watergate, remember “Deep Throat?”

Harris: What do you have that wasn’t reported in the Times-Call article?

Large Larynx: To summarize, a Councilwoman met with residents in May who didn’t want to see a development pass the council. One resident emailed a summary of the meeting to a Councilman where the resident thought the Councilwoman had disparaged the City Council and city staff and offered suggestions on ways to delay the development. The Councilwoman denied the accusations, but had communicated with the residents via personal email (a no-no). Another Councilman and the Times-Call requested copies of the emails be provided under the Open Records Act, but the Councilwoman’s personal emails stored on an external hard drive had crashed. Subsequent heated discussions resulted in someone making alleged complaint of harassment of Councilwomen by Councilmen.

Harris: So the Councilwoman’s hard drive crashed. Did it take her car for a spin and was distracted by the motherboard?

Large Larynx: Maybe I’m sharing with the wrong person. What really happened was the Councilwoman was dusting her computer and hard drive with a cloth or something when she accidentally knocked it off the desk onto the floor. Breaking the hard drive and losing the emails stored on it.

Harris: What was said in discussions that caused the alleged harassment investigation to be opened?

Large Larynx: I heard that a Councilman was overheard saying he had just purchased a racy new Ford Mustang and that baby was hot and she screamed down the highway. Another Councilman had complimented a Councilwoman on her new outfit after holding a door open for her and addressing her as ma’am. Also did you know the Councilwomen have separate restrooms from the Councilmen?

Harris: How high up does this go in the City?

Large Larynx: Up to the Mayor. None of the recordings of these conversations are available.

Harris: So the Mayor’s office had recordings but now they’re missing?

Large Larynx: No the Mayor never records conversations, but shouldn’t he have?

Harris: Anything else I should know? What happens if you get caught?

Large Larynx: That’s all for now. If caught, I lose my free City Golf Course pass!

Harris: The Large Larynx’s revelations seem hard to swallow. We’ll see…….

Kris Harris moved here in 1960 and is a product of Longmont public schools and the University of Northern Colorado. He believes sarcasm deserves to be taken seriously.