Dear Jimmie – Upon awakening, I gaze out my window to the east and am enthralled by the awe-inspiring Colorado sunrise. When evening is nigh, I gaze out my window to the west and my eyes are inadequate tools to describe the breathtaking “Purple Mountains Majesty” of the Colorado sunset. Tis a privilege to live in Colorado! I look out my window to the south and get to see the “Miami Crack House” on wheels that is the “gift that keeps on rotting,” Johnson’s Corner Gas Station. So, for all the beauty around me, the cat might as well have whizzed in my corn flakes as make me have to view this eyesore. Oh….but it’s such a historic example of “Art Deco” architecture, we have to save and preserve this community landmark that might cost $500 – $750K to restore! Well the crickets have been chirping for 10 years while we wait for the funds to appear. How do we get this concrete curmudgeon gone?

Peeved in Prospect

Dear PIP – What? You’re not a fan of “Art Deco” architecture? You have to remember 10 in taxpayer years equals about 1 in Government and associated commission’s years. I’ll withhold my personal opinion on what should be done with this old, truly “self-service” gas station, but will offer the following solutions to this issue:

“ED” Mall Relocation – Move the “JCGS” to the new “Enterprise Dysfunction” or “Eminent Domain” Mall and have a new owner renovate it. Since we now have gazillion healthy grocery stores, seems we could use one non-healthy grocery type store as a balance. Maybe a franchise called Un-Whole Foods or Gordo’s that specialized in all the popular deep fried carnival and State Fair fare like: corn dogs, funnel cakes, snickers, butter balls, spaghetti and meatballs on a stick and the newly popular tater wedges with a lard and ketchup dipping sauce. I bet a store like this would see significant customer base expansion, literally.

Our Health, Our Future, Our Longmont HQ – The “JCGS” would make the perfect headquarters for this anti-fracking group. It could be squeezed in on some of the limited Boulder County Open Space land. They could be truly green by just using the concrete shell with no heating or cooling systems using gas or electric or any of the many items made from petrochemicals to furnish the building. To be helpful, I have noticed a slew of discounted Solyndra Solar Panels on eBay.

RTD Longmont Train Station – With RTD’s budgeting scheme for our Northwest Corridor link being worse than Custer’s allocation of troops at the Battle of the Little Big Horn, the “JCGS” could be the perfect affordable Train Station for our end of the Northwest Corridor. The shell already has the covered train platform attached and the money saved on this plan would enable RTD to add an extra “fireman” (coal stoker) to the steam engines they plan using on our route.

Sugar Factory Visitor’s Center – Talk about historic, you can’t find a sweeter landmark to Longmont’s Ag pedigree than the hulking rodent hotel, broken down brick and mortar on our eastern border, yeah, the Sugar Factory. Move the “JCGS” next to the “Beet Palace” and it will look like a Mercedes sitting next to a Yugo. It could be a combination Visitor’s Center and Cat Shelter (for controlling, uh all the rodents). So PIP those are my “stream of unconsciousness” solutions. Hope someone acts to improve your’s and all the other Prospector’s viewing pleasure. Well gotta go. My wife just told me my deep fat fryer oil was hot, I’ll let you know how the “spam curds” turn out.